If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
