Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Bring me that man meat
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
