No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
