A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Damn victory sex feels great
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