it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
COCAINE IS GR8
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
