Kiss
Puke
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
