You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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