Heybabeimwearingurpanties
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
