so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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