she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
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