when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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