Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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