i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
There r osticjed everywhere
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Randomize
