Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
