I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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