Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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