we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
of course. lets lasso hookers.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Randomize
