They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
