party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
