Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
thus making me awesome and them whores
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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