I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Randomize
