Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
