I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
