I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
