The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
