i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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