She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
