I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
