so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
