Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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