i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
