i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize