OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
