I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
