I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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