I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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