Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
