I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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