Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
sex in a hospital.. check
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize