I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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