Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
