Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
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