Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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