If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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