I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
