Plan B is the new Plan A
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
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