These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
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