thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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