just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
