Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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