Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
