Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
