it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Randomize
