this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize