..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
