so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
