Whats the count minus fat chicks?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
