There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
he shaved USA in his pubs
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
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