Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Floor bacon is actually really good
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
