Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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