Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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