I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
